Chad Chaddington's big adventure (fiction)
#1
Thumbs Down 
So Chad isn't actually a real person, just a series of minecraft accounts which follow simple rules at random.

Seeing how you guys aren't as in love with economics as I am, I figured I'd make a new shitpost fiction thread to write about how a fictional ChadDX could work in the real world...

(story starting shortly, don't expect anything amazing)
"Complexity, is just a lot of Simplicity"
Reply
#2
**RING RING**

...uuuuuuhhhhhh

**RING RING**

...ello?

"it's the hospital here, we'd like you to come in tomorrow to review your medication"

i already told you, my medication is fine, i'm not changing it

"Of course, but we would really like you to come in to discuss this with the doctor"

whatever, i'll be there

Chad takes off his clothes and rubs his wet body.
He takes particular care of the crotch area and armpits.
He uses a towel to dry himself, and makes himself a coffee.


WTF to do today? I'm SO BORED but can't be bothered to do ANY WORK.

Fuck it, i'll cruise down to the City Centre on my bike

(20 minutes later)

Hello Ladies, How U Doin?
"Wassup Man, yeah we're all good, just preaching and shit"
You got any symbols?
"symbols?"
Yeah, you know... like a star with 7 points... isn't that supposed to be a sacred thing in Christianity?
"ah well we're Jehovas's Witnesses, we believe that symbols are inherently dangerous, and so we do not spread them"
Amen to that sister, I just like playing with fire ^ ^
"Want a book?"
nah thanks, not my style. You ladies have a good day now Smile
"You Too!" Smile


Chad buys a hat from the women's section of a shop because it has the word "WONDER" on it, having first received assurances from the staff that WONDER is not a famous brand. He also hands in a display tshirt that has lipstick on it, for them to process as damaged goods


(10 minutes later)

"Hello Sir... are you a friendly person?"
I sure am
"Do you like dogs?"
Well... dogs like humans a lot, so I respect them for that
"Have you got any idea how many blind people there are in this country?"
I'll take a guess at 1% of population, so that would make 600,000
"good guess, it's actually 400,000... would you like to help blind people get access to guide dogs?"
Sure, why not
"first let me ask you, do you spend any money on guilty pleasures?"
Well of course... I purchase like 20 of weed a week
"Well we're only asking for 10 a month!"
I piss 10 pounds... that's nothing. A guide dog costs like 10000 a year
"Well we have a premium package for 27"
"27? are you listening to me mate... a guide dog costs 10000 a year"
"yes so give me 10 a month... you get a photo of your guide dog, and regular pupdates"
Are you paid to do this?
Yeah it's my job, and if you're not going to sponsor a guide dog imma have to find someone who will
You're off ur rocker m8
 

Chad walks off, and buys a breakfast pasty.
He also gives a quid to a homeless guy who was playing guitar and singing "Stand by me"


"Complexity, is just a lot of Simplicity"
Reply
#3
You call it fiction, I call it the byproduct of bipolar disorder making your thought process into a smoothie. It's a hell of a mental issue.
I'M A CREEPY OLD MAN ON THE INTERNET AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME
Reply
#4
(11-01-2016, 07:48 AM)_Remnant_ Wrote: You call it fiction, I call it the byproduct of bipolar disorder making your thought process into a smoothie. It's a hell of a mental issue.

i thought you'd like this kinda crap
"Complexity, is just a lot of Simplicity"
Reply
#5
I don't like shitposts that don't have an underlying message. When you do it, it feels like a middle-aged businessman trying to get in touch with the youth, lol.
I'M A CREEPY OLD MAN ON THE INTERNET AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME
Reply
#6
(11-01-2016, 08:01 AM)_Remnant_ Wrote: I don't like shitposts that don't have an underlying message. When you do it, it feels like a middle-aged businessman trying to get in touch with the youth, lol.

jees the main event of the story hasn't happened yet.. i'm not middle aged either, also there IS a huge message, just haven't got to that yet. Also i'm not a businessman?
"Complexity, is just a lot of Simplicity"
Reply
#7
lol this thread went 0 - 100 REAL fast
Reply
#8
Chad is quite literally performing 100000 tasks per day. What the actual fuck.
Also, if a BB character doesn't get introduced in this story, ima be quite pissed :p.
Science, Bitch!
Reply
#9
-=Economic Interlude=-

Chad won't give £10 to sponsor a guide dog for the physically disabled, but will give £1 to a homeless busker for alcohol?

Chad... are you nuts?

Yes, indeed I am.

£10 per month is £120 per year, the guy only has to find 100 more people to sponsor the dog to make £12000 per year! Surely that's a good thing!?

If it worked like that, sure, I'd give 10 a month. Sadly tho, this person worked for a company, and not a charity. The usual split of that money is as follows (btw, actual figure was £9.50 a month)

(first take 50p off per month for transaction charge from merchent bank)
33% ==> to person who made the sale
33% ==> to company person works for
33% ==> to charity

This means that I am only giving £3 per month to the charity that provides the dogs.

Charities themselves are ruthlessly inefficient, even more so than government. You can expect a charity to only get 33% of your money to where it's actually supposed to go.

This means that if I was going to give £9.50 a month to this guy on the street, I'd expect £1 a month to go to the actual blind person. This means it would take me over 800 years of donating to finally be able to pay for 1 year of a guide dog's services.
"Complexity, is just a lot of Simplicity"
Reply
#10
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8, Chad thought to himself.
9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16, Chad continued to think.

These numbers make perfect sense. They are so useful for so many things. Then we get to 17. What on earth is 17 for? what does it mean? why is it there?



Chad tried a new line of thought.
That poor guy on the street, being forced to sell some fake puppy sponsorship bollocks, just to survive.

He had appeared robotic in nature, following a script written by someone else. He seemed tired of his 'job' and looked as if he was about to give up all hope.

Chad had to act fast



The easiest way to transfer hope and dreams to someone is to buy them a lottery ticket.

01 06 29 30 44 ... these numbers were obvious choices based on my conversation with the puppy sponsorship seller... but I was one number short.

Hey, excuse me girl... could you give me one number please?
"Sure, 17"

heh... so that's what 17 is for. Thanks Universe.


Chad goes back to the street where the puppy sponsorship guy was, but the guy had ALREADY given up and left.
Shit, Chad thought... I do NOT want to win the lottery, and here I am holding a ticket which could be worth 15 million pounds on Wednesday evening.
Chad started to cycle home, keeping an eye out for a suitable person to give the lottery ticket to.


"Big Issue Sir... Oh hello mate! how you doing?"
Yeah not bad at all man... just got a quick question: What would you do if you won the lottery?
"Well, half to me, half to charity"
that's the right thing to do... here's a lottery ticket for tomorrow's draw 
"Thanks mate!" Smile
np, take it easy Smile

Has Chad given away a winning lottery ticket to a big issue seller?
Find out at 22:35 GMT tonight!
"Complexity, is just a lot of Simplicity"
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)